


The Food Test

by Firiami (Malva)



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Human Wheatley, Minor Chelley, Oneshot, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 22:11:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8074651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malva/pseuds/Firiami
Summary: When Wheatley shows up suddenly at her doorstep, Chell realizes teaching him the ways of human society will be full of challenges. The first one is to make him understand he must learn to eat if he wants to live, but he's horrified at the mere idea. Unfortunately for him, she never gives up, and he's about to remember this the hard way. Oneshot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by a Tumblr post that challenged writers to write a story based on five-word prompts. I chose from that list the phrases “are you finishing that or…?” and “don’t even think about it.” This was the result.  
> Also, I wanted to explore how a potential encounter between Chell and Wheatley post-game might feel from her point of view. Enjoy!

Chell had expected some challenges the day Wheatley showed at her door as a real, f lesh-and-blood person.

 

She had known the moment she saw his weakened form huffing and trying to catch his breath, confused and lost, that she'd have to act as mentor and guide to the several hidden intricacies of the human world.  He certainly didn’t have another place to go, and t here was  simply no one else who shared the knowledge of his special circumstances that could also be willing to help the former metal sphere.

 

What she hadn't expected, however, was to try to force a thirty-something, six feet toddler into getting familiar with the idea of ingesting food. She supposed it would have been so much easier if she simply explained to him why he needed to shove food into his mouth if he wished to keep breathing, but she had principles. Not talking to robots -especially back stabbing ones- was her most  sacred rule. Even if  _this_ robot was technically no longer one.

 

A part of her really wished she had kicked him out and let him know exactly how mad she was still with him the  second  she saw his sorry frame at her door. She was still quite angry with him and he would have to endure the silent treatment until she'd decided he'd paid his debt. Even if by doing so her life were - admittedly-  ten times harder, she wouldn't yield.

 

But, despite what the sentient AIs  from Aperture might have thought about Chell, she wasn’t the cold blooded murderer She  had  claimed her to be. A bit rough at the edges, sure, but not someone who’d enjoy letting defenseless people try to figure out by themselves how to survive in the unfriendly, Outside world.

 

She was never afraid of challenges, after all, and this one would be no different.

 

The  day after she  had  welcomed him into her home, the y were on her kitchen.  Chell had prepared a plate of sliced apple s for  Wheatley to eat. She suspected he hadn't eaten anything yet on his brief existence as an organic being; his features screamed of famine and malnutrition and she knew for a fact he hadn't had anything since he had  crashed at her home several hours earlier.

 

She had pointed her finger to the plate of sliced fruit on the table, hoping he'd sit and start eating like a ny normal person would, but he was not a normal person, and of course it wouldn't be so simple. His big blue eyes widened in slight horror as he looked at the fruit with thin veiled disgust. She couldn't help but wonder what was about food that made him so reluctant to even try it. Didn't he understand what he  _was_ now? Didn't he understand what the consequences might be if he kept refusing to eat?

 

Right now, his situation was stable, but  Chell was aware that his time was running out, and he had to give in if he wanted to win the survival game.

 

Forcing herself to stop  contemplating such grim thoughts, she took one of the apple slices and  arched an eyebrow, trying to get her message across his thick skull. When he refused, vehemently moving his head from one side to the other, she  took a calculated step closer to the  man . Wheatley yelped and covered his mouth with both of his hands.

 

Interesting. She took a mental note, noticing the way fear seemed to affect him deeply, and how she could use that to defend herself if he ever crossed the line again. After all, she still wasn’t sure if she could trust him -again-, and the sound of the harsh words he had spoken to her were still lingering in some part of her mind. He seemed normal enough _now_ , but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to be prepared, just in case.

 

Chell  planned her next move  carefully ,  and  took another step forward .

 

He was already walking backwards, until his back hit the cupboard, and that gave her an excellent opportunity to corner him and block any possible escape route. She had to be cautious. He might be running out of energy, and he might not be able to put too much of a fight to her advances, but she knew too well he was smart enough to come up with the occasional good idea, and she didn't want to give him any chance to think any further.

 

Another step forward  and she saw him starting to tremble slightly .  Wheatley straightened his glasses in a futile attempt at pretending he was in complete control of the situation, and cleared his throat.

 

He knew he was in deep trouble. He had seen the resolution in her eyes as she approached him with the slow movements of a lioness hunting a wounded prey. "Oh no, no, no. I've _seen_ that look before, lady, and I know it means no good. Don't even think about it. Stop. Stop, or I--"

 

Her plan had succeeded and she had cornered him,  having him completely  at her mercy. It had been relatively easy to corner him, but that was not a real surprise, considering he  was still not used to his new body, and h is movements were slow and awkward.

 

All she needed was to be patient and get the perfect timing to do her next move.

 

"-I can't understand why this is even necessary, I mean, I feel good, well, as good as you can expect being stuck in this sack of skin, but I haven't  _expired_ yet. I'm still here, still in one piece, see? So I'd appreciate if you stopped giving me that look. What's gotten into you, anyway?"

 

In all honesty, she didn't know. Why did it matter to her, anyway?

 

Once she thought about it, it wasn't that hard to understand. For starters, she didn't want to watch him wither and die if she could do something about it. She might not be  _happy_ with  having him  around right now , but  truth be told, a small part of her had felt guilty about not trying to save him from the chassis, instead of, you know, launching him into the cold void of space .  Truth, he had earned it fully, and besides, it had been  a bit hard to come with a better plan on the couple seconds she had been lying on the floor and bleeding waiting for him to kill her- but now that she had been free and outside  for a while  and  had  had plenty of time to think about it, sometimes she wondered if  there couldn’t have been a better way.

 

It wasn’t worth it to think about what could have happened, she decided. She could  do something about it and try to help him  _now_ , however. She owed him that much for having helped her escape the testing tracks if nothing else. 

 

Besides, she was curious about the reason behind his sudden presence on her doorstep. If Wheatley, for some miraculous reason, was remorseful about the past and if he wanted to atone for his mistakes -which, if she had to be completely honest, she deemed highly dubious-, well, she sure wanted to hear what he had to say. Even if she was not ready to forgive him. Not yet.

 

She had to admit though, this had been a lot more fun than she had thought at first. His terrified face was more than a bit funny and she caught herself trying to suppress a chuckle. This was almost like testing, she mused. No, it was better than testing. This was a _game_.

 

He was going to eat, whether he liked it or not.  He w ouldn’t surrender  that easily , didn't he? 

 

_Fine._ _H_ _ave it your way_ , she thought, and prepared her final attack.

 

One, two- 

 

CRASH.

 

It all happened too fast. She jumped and, using one of his legs as a step, climbed  upon  his back until she surrounded his neck with  one of her arms . 

 

Wheatley  had  just screamed and  started running in circles, trying to get rid of her, panicked voice and  eyes so wide it was a miracle they didn’t fall out of his sockets .

 

Chell was sure she was about to fall if he kept running like some lanky wild horse, but she was not going to give up. She gripped his neck tighter, waiting until he simply ran out of energy and stopped his reckless race.

 

"Get off me get off me get off me! Ah h h!"

 

Unaware that his screaming le f t his mouth  wide open and therefore  also  open to a direct attack, he just ke pt flailing his arms, somehow expecting this would  be enough to  scare her  away  and make her leave him alone. 

 

Chell smirked.  As if he didn't know better.

 

She  finally  saw her chance and took the opportunity to shove the apple  slice in side his mouth and with her hand free now, she  took hold of his jaw and forced it to close it and chew. She was surprisingly strong, he found out. Unable to do anything else but obey, he complied with her wishes and did as told. He swallowed.

 

He stopped his wild race as a look of realization started to shine in his blue eyes.

 

"This... oh... oh.  Blimey ." 

 

A h alf-formed  annoyed question of " _why didn't you tell me?_ " died in his lips as he closed his eyes and took his time to taste the delicate flavor, the sourness mixed with the sweetness of the apple juice as it rolled  o n his tongue.

 

Chell let go of him and slid to the floor, relieved.  _Chell 1, Wheatley 0_ , she thought with glee. Hopefully things will get easier from now on, if he was sensible enough to comprehend that, despite everything, she wasn’t interested in getting revenge. She let herself crash on the nearest chair, tired from all the effort, and picked another apple slice, putting it into her mouth and enjoying the taste.

 

A huge grin  had slowly spread across  Wheatley’s face, pure bliss covering his features. He pointed to the rest of the apple slices on the table, hopeful.

 

"Are you finishing that or...?"

 

 

 


End file.
